Aftermath Read online

  Her heart soared, but her mind insisted on clarification. “And that’s bad?”

  “I’m quite a bit older than you, Ms.—”

  She pinched him and he chuckled. “Vicious woman. All right. I’m quite a bit older than you, Siobahn.”

  “In case you haven’t noticed, that doesn’t matter to me. I find you both sexy and fascinating.”

  His step faltered.

  “Oh, my God, have I rattled the great and mighty Director of the SSU?” The idea delighted her. “The man who can face down irate congressmen and navigate the dangers of terrorist threats is thrown off his stride by a little frank talk from a woman?”

  “I think you’ll find that I’m a bit old-fashioned and conservative when it comes to women,” Ryker admitted.

  Siobahn’s spirits plummeted.

  He stroked her hand where it rested on his forearm. “Until now, I’ve never been attracted to a woman as vibrant and frank as you.”

  “Is that a problem?”

  “Only in that it forces me to adjust my pattern of thinking. We old guys don’t take to change very well.”

  Siobahn pulled him to a stop. “Don’t.”

  At his questioning look, she clarified, “Don’t try to set your age up as a barrier between us. I told you, it doesn’t matter to me. And I’m pretty damn sure that you possess enough self-confidence to not let it bother you. So if you have a real issue with becoming romantically involved with me, just say it. Otherwise, no more age barbs.”

  Ryker’s silver gray eyes held hers for a very long time. Unable to break away, Siobahn found herself holding her breath. Finally, he sighed and looked away before taking her arm again and continuing down the path along the river. “You’re right. I’m sorry. You’ve caught me at a difficult point in my life. A lot has happened to make me question the choices I’ve made and the beliefs I’ve always held to be true. It has me cautious about taking a chance on something new.”

  She squeezed his arm and pressed companionably against his side. “I understand. You go along thinking that the good guys are always the good guys and then suddenly you discover that they’re not and you no longer know who to trust.”

  “Feeling cynical, Siobahn?”

  “Maybe. For years, I kept going on the belief that justice would prevail. As long as I exposed the truth, someone would benefit.” She shrugged. “The depth of this whole Kerberos situation has me questioning the institutions I’ve always trusted.” Particularly since MacAdam’s death. But she wasn’t about to tell Ryker of her suspicions. Not yet. She knew a man with his reputation for integrity wouldn’t have sanctioned killing the President, but that didn’t mean he’d want Siobahn risking her neck by investigating. For now, what Ryker didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him and wouldn’t cause conflict between them.

  She shot him a glance. “Has running the SSU changed your attitude?”

  The corner of Ryker’s mouth lifted. “Too many years in special ops had already made me cynical before I started the SSU. Let’s just say that doing the political tap dance necessary to keep the SSU alive hasn’t improved on that.”

  A calico cat slipped across the path in front of them and disappeared into the bushes. “Don’t you ever get tired?” she asked. “Think about chucking it all and doing something completely different?”

  Another stroke of his fingers over the back of her hand. It was meant as comfort, but this time her body reacted in a wholly feminine way.

  “Have you been thinking of giving up the journalism business Siobahn?”

  God, she loved the sound of his voice saying her name. Wait. What had his question been? Oh, that’s right. “Maybe. I don’t know. I thought I was content. But this week…” She shook her head, which triggered a pulse of headache. “It’s been rough. I just don’t know if I have the heart to keep going.” And why on earth was she saying this to Ryker when the thoughts were so new and unsettling to her?

  “Have you considered doing other work?”

  She gave a harsh laugh. “No. All I’ve ever wanted was to be an investigative journalist. I don’t even have any hobbies that could turn into a second career.” Argh. Could she possibly sound more pathetic?

  They passed from a well-lit section of the path into an area where the overhead light had burned out, throwing their section into deeper shadow. “This is a depressing conversation,” Siobahn announced. She pulled Ryker to a stop again.

  “What does a girl have to do to get you to kiss her again?”

  Ryker glanced around and then made a hand gesture back toward the way they’d come. Ethan. That’s right. She’d forgotten they had a bodyguard following them.

  “Does that mean you’re going to kiss me or should I kiss you fir—”

  Ryker cut her off by taking her mouth in a kiss that was far more aggressive and dominating than she’d expected from the man who’d been handling her with kid gloves up to now. And oh, Lord, how the man could kiss. She would’ve sworn that her memory of their previous kiss had been faulty. That the tender way he’d kissed her before hadn’t caused such a powerful reaction in her.

  She’d have been wrong.

  The world simply melted away under the sensual assault of his mouth. He didn’t allow her time to get used to the fierce, demanding pressure of his lips before he softened the kiss. She sighed, accepting the languid movement of his tongue in her mouth. Absorbing the tantalizing taste of him.

  They explored one another gently at first, then playfully, with teasing nips and quick forays with their tongues that had her squirming to get closer in a vain attempt to ease the ache between her legs.

  One of his hands cradled the back of her head and the other settled at the small of her back, urging her hips into firmer contact with him. She whimpered and clutched his back, trying to eliminate the distance between them as the kiss once again turned aggressive.

  Siobahn finally pulled back for breath, already mourning the heat of his mouth. But he didn’t release her. Instead, his mouth slid along her jaw, down her neck and settled over the pulse point at the base of her throat. When he suckled the skin into his mouth, her whole body jerked with arousal.

  His hand slipped from the small of her back to trace the crease between her buttocks. Suspended by the magic he was creating with his mouth and his hand, Siobahn felt her arousal crank impossibly higher. It was too much. “If you keep this up,” she gasped. “I’m going to come right here.”

  Ryker stilled. He swiped his tongue once more along her skin, then straightened and let his hand fall away.

  “Dammit, I didn’t want you to stop just…” She blinked up at him through the haze of sexual confusion.

  “I know. But we’re in public. Ethan might be turned partially away to give us privacy, but he’s keeping us in his periphery vision. If I didn’t stop then, I might have gone too far.” He bent down to whisper the next words in her ear. “I want privacy when I take you.”

  At her gasp, he smiled down at her, then ran his thumb across her lower lip. “Did that answer your question about the kiss?”

  “What? Oh. Yeah.” She cleared her throat. “I mean, yes. All I have to do is push you and you’ll give me what I want.”

  Ryker gave a crack of laughter, then placed a quick, hard kiss on her lips. “I like you, Siobahn Murphy. I really do. But don’t think I’ll always let you get your way.” He hooked his arm through hers and turned her back toward the house. “Come on. Let’s get you home.”

  “Will you stay with me again tonight?”

  She felt his muscles tense under her fingers. “I don’t think that would be a very good idea.”

  “Why?”

  “You’re still recovering from your head injury.” The look he slanted toward her could only be called wicked. “And after that kiss, I don’t trust myself just to hold you.”

  “Pooh.” She stuck out her lower lip. “Really? You’re going to make me sleep in my house all alone the night after I was attacked?”

  He laughed. “No. I figu
red Toby and Faith would be willing to stay with you.”

  “But I want you.”

  “And I want to stay with you. But I’m not joking, Siobahn. My control isn’t what it should be around you. I—”

  “Maybe I don’t need your control.”

  “Siobahn, when we get back to your place, take a look in the mirror. You’re looking pale and pinched. And your steps have slowed considerably since we turned around. The kiss set your head to pounding again, didn’t it?”

  “How did you know?” she grumbled. “Maybe I just don’t want to go home yet.”

  Ryker halted. “Would you like to keep walking, Ms. Murphy?”

  “No,” she admitted with a growl. “Damn you, you’re right. And damn you for reminding me that I was recently a victim. I hate that.”

  “I know. And I’m sorry. But as I said, I tend to be old-fashioned about women. One of my beliefs is that a man should look out for the health of the lady he’s with. And since you clearly intended on ignoring your pain until you dropped…”

  Siobahn smacked his shoulder, then winced as the sharp movement aggravated her headache. “Word of advice, here. Independent women don’t like being forced into positions of weakness or reminded that they have vulnerabilities.”

  Ryker lowered his voice. “Not even in bed? Come on, Siobahn. Are you telling me you’ve never let a man dominate you during lovemaking? Never had a man tie you down and then spend hours exploring your body?”

  Hours? She swallowed. Damn him. How dare he turn the tables and become blatantly sexual when she was already off balance? Now the idea of being held helpless while Ryker explored her body had her clit throbbing. “That,” she said stiffly, “is something you’re going to have to wait to find out for yourself.”

  Ryker’s teeth nipped the top of her ear lobe. “I look forward to it.”

  He straightened up. A few steps later, he nodded to the shadows and Siobahn realized that they’d reached Ethan’s position. Great. Just how much had he seen? Or heard?

  When they’d passed the man by, Siobahn whispered to Ryker, “Will the fact that Ethan saw you kissing me undermine your authority?”

  Ryker turned his head toward her in surprise. “What? No. If anything, it will only add to the respect. Not only do I kick ass on the dojo floor, but I can win the attention of a beautiful woman like yourself. And trust me, none of my men would ever think less of you for being caught in a kiss with me. They’ll be curious to see what type of woman has so enchanted me that I forgot propriety and kissed you in public, but they won’t treat you with any less respect because of it. The SSU doesn’t tolerate sexual harassment. Men who think that women are easy and therefore suitable prey don’t get invited to join the SSU. Contrary to the recent media reports of sexual assault in the military, most soldiers honor and protect women. They don’t hurt or intimidate them.”

  “Wow. Sorry. Didn’t mean to hit one of your trigger issues.”

  “No. It’s my fault. I apologize. Your brothers and father are military and law enforcement men. You don’t need me preaching at you.”

  “That’s all right.” They walked several feet in silence. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  Ryker took a deep breath. His mouth pressed into a thin line before he answered. “I developed some very strong friendships during my service in Vietnam. Most of which have lasted to today. The man I was closest to, Eric Paterson, joined the SSU soon after I founded it, and then brought his son Kai into the organization after Kai decided to leave the CIA. I won’t go into the details now, but due to an undercover assignment I gave Kai, Eric, his wife, and his teenage son and daughter—twins—were brutally murdered. And…scalped.”

  “Oh, my God. Ryker.” Siobahn squeezed his arm. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Eric’s wife and youngest daughter were raped before they died. Jenna, his oldest daughter, was also raped and partially scalped. She survived. Barely.”

  Siobahn heard the anguish in his voice, strong even after all this time. Her heart ached with the need to soothe his pain away.

  “Kai had called to warn me that his cover had been blown and his family was in imminent danger. But I didn’t receive the message in time. Someone had deleted his voicemail from my phone. It was sheer luck that I needed to retrieve another message, went into the deleted messages archive, and heard his warning. I immediately called to warn Eric. He planned to evacuate the family and meet me at the airport. When no one showed, I headed to the house.”

  He swallowed loud enough for Siobahn to hear. “Paramedics were carrying out body bags when I arrived. My warning had come too late.”

  Siobahn rested her head on Ryker’s shoulder in a silent show of support, knowing he wouldn’t want to hear her say it wasn’t his fault.

  “I’d promised Eric that I would take care of his family if anything happened to him, but I failed him. The best I could do was bring Jenna to the medical center at the SSU and make sure that while she recovered she would be hidden from the man who’d targeted her family, Mexican crime lord Jaime Alvarez.”

  “I remember Alvarez,” she said. “There was a big stink when he got out of prison. Accusations that he’d bribed or intimidated a judge into reducing his sentence.” She searched her memory. “Then Alvarez died in a shootout in Mexico. Right?”

  “Yes.”

  Siobahn suspected there was more to Alvarez’s death than had been reported, but wasn’t going to ask for details.

  “How’s Jenna now?”

  “She eventually made a full recovery.”

  Again, something in Ryker’s tone made Siobahn think there was more to the story. Yet all she said was, “You’re proud of her.”

  “Yes. She’s like a daughter to me.” He smiled. “Jenna recently married one of my more experienced agents, a man named Niko Andros. She’s now helping with a couple of rehabilitation programs we run for our wounded agents. And her brother Kai is part of the medical team that helped bring Toby back to normal.”

  “Small world.”

  “Special ops often is. It gets narrower, though.” Ryker took a deep breath and some of the tension that had eased from his shoulders crept back in. “Rafe Andros, Niko’s brother, was captured by Dr. Kaufmann and put through the enhanced soldier program. A doctor who defected from Kaufmann’s lab, Dr. Gabrielle Montague, led the team that brought Rafe back to sanity. Her work is key to helping all of Kaufmann’s victims.”

  “You feel responsible. Both for what happened to the Patersons, and for Rafe’s capture.”

  “Of course. They were mine to protect and I failed them.”

  Unable to hold her emotions in any more, she stepped in front of Ryker and looked up at him. “That’s what makes you such an admirable leader. You care for your people. You take responsibility for their well being, even when there was nothing you could have done to prevent the tragedies.” She brushed her lips against his.

  “Thank you for sharing this with me,” she murmured.

  A wry smile touched his mouth. “What is it about you, lady, that lowers all my defenses and has me spilling my guts?” He leaned down and gave her a kiss that was more about two human beings being grateful to have found one another than it was about arousal.

  Then he tucked her back against his side and put his arm around her waist.

  They walked back to her place in silence.

  Chapter Eight

  Ryker didn’t know how Siobahn did it. Last night she’d somehow managed to convince him to once again hold her while she slept. Whereas the previous night Siobahn’s injured status had cooled his body’s reaction, last night, with the taste of her still lingering in his mouth, Ryker had found it excruciatingly difficult to stop himself from rolling over, trapping her soft, willing body beneath him, and thrusting inside her.

  Now, with the warm, soft length of her body draped across his chest, the early morning sunlight picking out dark highlights in her magnificent red hair, he struggled to remember why stroking his hand down her back like
this was a bad idea. Siobahn made a sleepy, contented little sound and shifted. The new position put Ryker’s hand at the hem of her sleep tee where it rested just below the waistband of her loose shorts. Wondering how far he could go before she woke up, he slipped his fingers underneath the thin cotton until they met the silken skin of her lower back.

  Just that relatively innocent touch sent fire through his veins. Needing more, his lips pressed against her temple. As his fingers walked up the bumps of her spine, his tongue darted out to taste her skin.

  “Mmm,” Siobahn murmured sleepily, arching into his hand. “Feels good.”

  Ryker spread his fingers out, drawing random patterns on her back as his hand inched toward her shoulders. The t-shirt, caught on his wrist, rose to expose her creamy skin to the golden light.

  When his hand reached the back of her neck, the t-shirt stretched, its front trapped between their bodies. Siobahn made a sound of annoyance, lifted her upper body, and yanked off the shirt. Then her fingers delved under Ryker’s undershirt and before he knew it they lay skin to skin.

  “Much better,” Siobahn muttered, settling against his side with one arm nestled between their bodies and the other draped across his chest. Ryker might have thought she’d fallen back asleep, except her fingers drifted across his bare skin, stopping to first circle then pinch his nipples before moving on.

  When she shifted over him to take one stiff nipple into her mouth, his hips rose involuntarily. “Siobahn!”

  “You taste good,” she whispered, moving to tongue the other nipple.

  “If you don’t stop that, we’re going to end up with a fast finish,” Ryker warned as his erection strained to be free of his boxers.

  The look she shot him was full of feminine mischief. “Is that a problem?”

  “It is if you’re not completely ready.”

  In response, she shimmied out of her shorts and panties, then grabbed his hand and put it between her legs. Hot, silken honey slid over his fingers. He groaned.

  At the press of her hips, he slipped first one, then two fingers inside her and pressed his thumb against her clit.